Truth

I miss you,
As a girlfriend and as a best friend.
But it just cant be that way,
I wanted you as a best friend and you backed away,
This week ive enjoyed myself,
Seen my friends and drank too much.
But i didnt see you,
I wanted to but you were busy.
I was honest with you and it back fired on me.
I want to be happy and it was you who used to make me happy months ago,
But we know that we cant be together.
It just wont work,
You need to focus on yourself,
Get better.
I need to focus on me and make myself better and happier.
Im fed up of feeling low.
Why cant you understand when i understood everything about you?

For me

After everything went we through,
What you put me through,
The stress,
The anger,
The upset,
And the worry.
I thought you would want me to be happy.
I love you, I still do.
I always will.
I am the one that accepted you fully,
Understood you.
And you treat me by ignoring me.
It was my birthday this week, I thought you'd of wanted to see me.
Guess I was wrong.
Have fun getting 'mortal'.
I can't be fucked with it all any more.
I try to make myself happy,
See if I can get over you.
Fuck it all.
You broke me.

Dreams

Dreams are such a funny thing,
Most nights I dream about you.
Some good, some bad.
Last night was bad.
I woke up crying, thinking it was real.
You were horrible to me,
Getting back with an ex and rubbing it in my face,
It makes me doubt my trust,
Surely If I dream the same dream night after night,
It shows that maybe its true?
And your lieing to me...
Again.
I havnt forgot about you lieing.
It runs through my brain constantly.
Engraving its thoughts deep within.
One day I'll forget,
One day we will be happy.

Anger

I feel like you don't understand how much you still mean to me,
Your like a drug I can't stop taking,
I think about you all the time,
Worry about you,
Dram about you,
I dislike how much I feel I still need you,
We're now best friends.
And it's lovely,
But I need you to know how hard it it for me,
How hard it is to not want to kiss you,
To feel your skin brush against mine.
It's killing me.
My heads all over the place.
:(

Ive just had an amazing night with you,
To feel your skin against mine again,
Your lips touching mine,
It was incredible,
But why do we keep doing this to ourselves?
I drive you home, not wanting to let you out of my car,
But to just drive away, me and you, to take us to a better place.

I asked you to be with me again tonight,
How selfish can i be?
To make you put your own happiness to a side,
Just so i can be happy.
I know i fucked us up.

You sent me a letter today that you wrote after we split up.
Ive read it 4 times now and i cant stop crying,
How much i hurt you,
How fucking selfish i was.
I will live with this regret and hurt for the rest of my life.

But no matter what i will always be here for you pea,
Ill never leave your side, even if it is just as best friends,
And i will protect you from everything/anyone,

Ill never stop loving you, till the day i die.

'Hold out your hand and lean upon me, ill be the one to make you smile'




xxx

Stupid girl

I just want everything to be back how it used to be.
I feel like Ive made a huge mistake,
I hurt the one person that meant everything to me,
I really hurt her,
I never meant to.
She was my everything and now were just best friends,
Is this really what i want?
I dont know what i want anymore.
All i know is that the moment i lay my eyes on her im back at square one when we first met,
Trying to resist her,
Being nervous around her,
Wanting to impress her,
Everything is complicated now,
Its all my fault.

Her head is all over the place,
She a little troubled soul.
Am i just making everything worse for her?
Confusing her even more than she already is with everything else.
Do i even make her happy anymore?
Or do i just upset her?
All i want to do is protect her,
Love her,
Be there for her.
I dont even care about the age anymore,
I miss my best friend that i fell in love with.
The girl who knew everything about me,
Understood my weird ways.

Can i learn from my mistakes and mend all of this?