I can see the pain in his eyes,
The feeling of just giving up.
He's had enough now,
He can't be bothered anymore and we can all see it.
He can only say he's fine a few times before we see through it.
See the worry etched in his face.

I keep crying randomly.
I just dont know how to cope with it.
He could be here for 3 months or 3 years.
No one knows.
Its just one thing after another.
I keep thinking why him?
Why my amazing dad?
Its that not knowing that's killing me.
I can only drink so much to mask the pain.


For now ill pray to God every night.
I hope he's listening as i fucking need some help.