It wasnt just your world that came tumbling down.
It was mine too.
If i could go back to the beginning when everything was amazing i would.
Im sat reading old letters and notes,
I dont know why im doing it to myself.
I still feel so much guilt.
But i think it was for the best.
Forver in my heart,
And hopefully one day back in my life.

"Her eyes change colour..Sometimes they're green, sometimes they're brown. But whatever they are they're beautiful."

<3 <3

Sight

I saw you,
The first time in what feels like years,
I didn't know what to do,
My heart was beating so fast it felt like my ribs were going to break.
My hands went clammy.
Why?
I don't know.
But I know one thing,
I miss my best friend.
Xxxx

I can see the pain in his eyes,
The feeling of just giving up.
He's had enough now,
He can't be bothered anymore and we can all see it.
He can only say he's fine a few times before we see through it.
See the worry etched in his face.

I keep crying randomly.
I just dont know how to cope with it.
He could be here for 3 months or 3 years.
No one knows.
Its just one thing after another.
I keep thinking why him?
Why my amazing dad?
Its that not knowing that's killing me.
I can only drink so much to mask the pain.


For now ill pray to God every night.
I hope he's listening as i fucking need some help.

Death

Its hard to come to terms with the fact of life,
You live and you die.
Simple.
But it's not is it?
The ones that die without wanting to,
And the ones that waste their lives.
My dad is one that doesn't want to.
I fucking hate this.
Can't you see that you shouldn't want to die?
Can't you understand it's bad!?!
Please stop.
I can't handle it anymore,
It's killing me,
My family's falling apart at the seams.

Ohio

Knowing your doing okay makes me happy,
Don't think I don't think about you,
You are my bestfriend still, and always will be.
I miss you too.
I has some horrible news this week,
Dads been diagnosed with lung disease,
It's been a week from hell full of writing wills and thinking of funeral arrangements incase it develops faster than we wish.
It would of been good to have you here to help me through it.
My worlds crumbling around me.
He can't die. He's my rock. You know that.
But what upsets me is that your not happy and don't want to be here,
Yet someone I love might be taken away from me,
Can't you see how awful it is?
How much everyone will be upset around you?
Please,
Don't ever give up.
Cause I wont ever give up on you.
Dory
Nemo
Xxxx

Dory & Nemo

hope

i hope that one day we can be friends again,
but for now i need to stay away from you,
for you to get better,
and for me to get better.
its for the best.
im not even seeing that boy now,
he didnt have a scratch on you....
ive just seen that im guessing your home for the day,
i truly hope you are getting better,
i honestly think about you all the time,
still my best friend and always have a place in my heart.
love you till the end of the world and back.
forever my nemo.
love your dory.
get better soon please
xxxx